Fostering Student Success Through Positive Relationships
Building strong relationships with students is one of the most powerful things we can do as educators. When students know that we genuinely care about them, their confidence grows, they feel like they belong, and they’re more willing to take risks in learning and in life. These positive connections with teachers make a huge difference in their everyday school experience. But it’s just as important for students to form strong relationships with their peers. These friendships help create a sense of belonging and build a culture where students feel seen, heard, and supported—ultimately boosting their performance in and out of the classroom.
During life’s toughest moments, it’s our true friends who stand by us. I’m not the most social person, but I have a few close friends I can always rely on. They were the ones I called from my dad’s hospital room when I learned he wouldn’t recover, and when my mum passed away unexpectedly. They rallied around me during my marriage break down, reminding me of my inner strength. As we get older, time with these friends becomes scarce, and the calls grow further apart, but when everything is falling apart, these are the relationships that truly matter—the people who love you for who you are, no matter what life throws your way. I think as we get older our appreciation of our true friends deepens and we begin to see just how precious they are.
The connections we make throughout our lives have a big impact on our mental and physical health. Research shows that people with healthy social ties experience lower rates of anxiety and depression, have higher self-esteem, and build more trusting and cooperative relationships. Beyond emotional well-being, strong relationships can even help boost your immune system, aid in recovery from illness, and might even help you live longer.
One concept that stands out in relationship research is "perceived responsiveness." This is the technical term for someone genuinely caring about your well-being, making you feel understood, and validating your experiences. It’s one of the key factors in feeling supported and connected to others and the essence of what I spoke about earlier. The famous Harvard Study of Adult Development, which began back in 1938, found that people who had the warmest relationships lived the happiest, healthiest, and longest lives. It turns out, good relationships are a stronger predictor of long-term happiness than anything else.
Humans have always survived through cooperation, dating all the way back to early Homo sapiens. Back then, they didn’t have the tech we do today to protect themselves from the elements or predators, so survival depended on social bonds. Even though we don’t face the same threats today, that need for connection is still deeply ingrained in us. Whether it's with family, friends, or even just one close person, relationships are essential to our well-being.
In positive psychology, the goal is more than just getting by—it’s about thriving. A study from Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center surveyed 2,500 people and found that being "prosocial"—engaging in meaningful relationships, practising kindness, and being part of a supportive community—is the most effective way to improve well-being in a lasting way.
Teaching kindness and generosity in the classroom can have a huge impact. Studies show that kindness lowers stress, increases our sense of belonging, and boosts overall well-being. What’s more, kindness is contagious—it benefits the giver, the receiver, and even those who witness it. Kindness also has physical benefits, like triggering the release of oxytocin, which reduces blood pressure and helps the heart. In fact, kindness is one of the most powerful ways to combat stress and improve mental health.
Gratitude, too, is a key ingredient for a meaningful, happy life. In fact, it’s one of the top three emotions that help people feel satisfied with their lives. According to Harvard Health, practising gratitude regularly helps people feel more positive, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build stronger relationships. Research by Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Michael McCullough found that people who practised gratitude were more optimistic, exercised more, and visited the doctor less than those who focused on negative experiences.
When we teach students about gratitude, they often start by thinking about material things, which makes sense given how much our society focuses on that. But with a little practice, they start to recognize all the things they might take for granted, like their senses, friends, family, or the simple comforts of life, and this shift in perspective can be incredibly powerful.
Both gratitude and kindness are essential character strengths, and they’re key to building positive relationships. By teaching and modelling these values in the classroom, we’re not just helping students succeed academically—we’re giving them tools for a happier, healthier life.
Now, let’s dive into some practical ways we can nurture these traits in our students.
Create a class Gratitude Jar and encourage each child to add one thing daily. At the end of the week, empty the gratitude jar and share all of the wonderful things the tamariki have added over the week.
Write a Gratitude Letter or card to someone that helps the children. Brainstorm different people in the school and community and discuss how their actions benefit various tamariki. If possible, hand deliver the letters so that tamariki can see the effect these have on the receiver.
Create a Gratitude Tree. Trace around your hand and arm to make the shape of a tree. Write one thing you are grateful for in each of the five branches. Decorate your tree with natural materials you find outside.
Random Acts of Kindness - Each child chooses another child’s name from the hat and commits to doing one kind act for this child each day. The secret to this activity is anonymity.
Kindness Self Portraits - Each student draws a picture of themselves on a large piece of paper. Students then spend ten minutes roaming around the room and adding kind comments to each other's self portraits.
Kindness to Myself Activity - spend time identifying the activities/people/places that make students feel good and encourage them to take time to utilise this list.
The benefits of strong connections extend far beyond the classroom. Research shows that healthy social relationships are linked to improved mental and physical well-being, lower stress, and even longer lifespans. Teaching students about kindness and gratitude—two key character strengths—can help them develop these positive relationships. Studies have shown that practising kindness lowers stress, strengthens social bonds, and improves both emotional and physical health. Similarly, practising gratitude boosts happiness, resilience, and optimism.
To help build these essential skills in the classroom, The Classroom Connections Project provides a wealth of ideas rooted in positive psychology. The manual is packed with strategies to help students connect with themselves, others, and the world around them. By fostering these connections, you can create a thriving classroom community that supports both academic success and personal well-being.
Thanks for reading and have a fabulous week ahead,
Natalie
