How Altruism Transforms Lives: The Science and Power of Giving
When I sat down to begin writing this blog post, it seems very fitting that it was World Kindness Day—a day to celebrate our connections with others and the reciprocal nature of kindness in our lives.
I had just spent a lovely (but too short) weekend with a dear friend who always pushes me to reflect on who I am and where I’m going in life. Life gets busy, and I hadn’t seen her in a while, so much of our conversation revolved around catching up on everything that had happened in our lives since last we saw each other. But what I love most about this friend is that our conversations always evolve into discussions about how we can make the world a better place.
She gets me. She understands my deepest wishes, and while we may not align exactly in our approaches, we share a deep love and respect for each other and the world around us. We are two people who genuinely want to create a more positive world.
When that is your goal, it can sometimes feel overwhelming. The world is filled with differing perspectives, and it may seem impossible to inspire change. But I’ve realised that my job is not to convince anyone of what is right—my job is to share the message of love, to bring consciousness into education, and to support those of you who are ready to hear it.
The Power of Perspective
Recently, I ran an ad for a resource I created about Te Tiriti o Waitangi (The Treaty of Waitangi), aimed at helping students understand the historical events surrounding the Treaty. My goal was to encourage critical thinking, empathy, and a broader understanding of different perspectives so that students could form their own informed opinions about historical and current events.
What really struck me was the reaction from some adults. Many comments were deeply polarised, filled with pain, anger, and rigid perspectives. At first, I wasn’t sure how to respond. Should I take the ad down? Should I write a heartfelt reply?
I decided to do neither—until now.
This reiterated the point that I can’t change someone else’s opinion, nor is that my role. People’s reactions are shaped by their own experiences and understandings. My focus must be on helping the next generation develop their own perspectives, grounded in empathy, knowledge, and open-mindedness. If we nurture understanding in young people, they will naturally become the torchbearers of positive change.
The Science of Kindness
I recently listened to a podcast about how our brain works and the role of different hormones in shaping our emotions. We have four primary "feel-good" hormones: dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, and serotonin. Each plays a crucial role in our well-being—dopamine rewards us for achievements, endorphins help us push through physical challenges, and serotonin stabilizes our mood. But the one I want to focus on today is oxytocin—the kindness hormone.
Studies show that acts of kindness benefit both the giver and the receiver. When we engage in compassionate actions, oxytocin is released, making us feel more connected, trusting, and happy. This isn’t just a feel-good theory—it’s backed by science.
The Power of Collective Intention
I’ve mentioned the book "Our Moment of Choice" before, but I continue to draw inspiration from it. One chapter that deeply resonated with me was written by Lynne McTaggart, who explores the Power of 8—a concept based on the idea that when small groups come together with a shared intention, the results can be profound.
Her research demonstrates that collective intention-setting can lead to healing, stronger relationships, and even societal change. It’s a beautiful reminder that positive transformation starts with a few committed individuals. Inspired by this, I’ve formed my own "Group of 8"—a collective dedicated to supporting each other’s goals and well-being. I’ll keep you posted on our progress!
Altruism and Positive Psychology
In my Positive Psychology studies, I was introduced to Matthieu Ricard, a Tibetan monk and former molecular geneticist who now advocates for a compassionate approach to life. He defines altruism as selfless concern for others without expecting personal gain. Ironically, though, acts of kindness do benefit us—they improve our mental, emotional, and even physical well-being.
Even Charles Darwin acknowledged the importance of working together. While Social Darwinism later emphasised "survival of the fittest," Darwin himself recognised that cooperation and empathy were vital to a species’ survival. Today, as we face global challenges, the need for collective compassion and cooperation has never been greater.
Materialism vs. Meaningful Happiness
Psychologist Tim Kasser spent 20 years researching how consumerism affects happiness. He found that people who focus on material wealth tend to be less happy, less healthy, and have weaker relationships. While they may have many social interactions, they often lack deep, meaningful connections.
Kasser’s research supports what we already know: True happiness comes from intrinsic values—friendship, personal well-being, and experiences—not material possessions.
Excessive narcissism and individualism are detrimental to both personal happiness and society at large. They reduce empathy, connection, and a sense of responsibility toward others and the environment. In contrast, compassion and altruism are key to a thriving, fulfilling life. When we uplift others, we uplift ourselves—it’s a win-win.
Teaching Kindness in the Classroom
With so much evidence supporting the benefits of kindness, it’s crucial that we explicitly teach these values to young people. Kindness is not just a "nice" thing to do—it’s essential for personal and societal well-being.
Activities for the Classroom:
Random Acts of Kindness Day/Week – Encourage students to plan specific, meaningful acts of kindness for their peers.
Volunteer Work – Help students engage with their community and see the direct impact of their kindness.
Altruism Study – Research famous altruists and discuss their choices and motivations.
Loving-Kindness Meditation – Teach students mindfulness techniques that cultivate compassion.
Connecting to Humanity – Encourage students to identify what helps them feel connected (music, nature, volunteering) and commit to engaging in it regularly.
Noticing & Celebrating Kindness – Create a classroom culture where acts of kindness are acknowledged and appreciated.
Bringing Kindness into Your Teaching
If you’re an educator looking to foster connection and well-being in your classroom, check out The Classroom Connections Project in the shop section of my website. This resource is designed to help teachers build meaningful relationships, create a sense of belonging, and support student well-being. Click here to explore the resource and bring more kindness into your classroom today!
A Final Thought
Thank you for taking the time to read this today. If you or a teacher you know would like support in bringing Positive Psychology and consciousness into the classroom, please reach out. Let’s work together to make a real difference for our students—and, ultimately, the world. Remember we can’t change the actions of others all we can do is be our best selves and create an opportunity for others to recognise that within themselves and perhaps choose to join the movement.
What’s one small act of kindness you can do today? Let’s keep the ripple effect going.
Ngā mihi nui,
Natalie
