Building Positive Relationships Through Kindness and Gratitude
In this fortnight’s blog post, I want to continue the deep dive into The Classroom Connections Project by investigating two core modules: Kindness and Gratitude. These are explicitly designed to help students build and maintain positive relationships with others—something we all know is essential for true well-being.
You’ve probably heard the analogy about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others. It’s a powerful metaphor. When we nurture a strong sense of self—self-worth, self-esteem, and self-belief—we’re far better equipped to extend compassion and connection to others.
That idea guided the structure of The Classroom Connections Project. In the first five modules, students explore tools to better understand and care for themselves. Only after this foundational work do we shift to looking outward—fostering strong, healthy relationships with those around us.
A Personal Reminder of the Power of Relationships
This term, I had a vivid reminder of just how crucial relationships are. I was asked to join our Year 10 group on camp—a group I hadn’t worked much with before. As many of you know, working with 14–15-year-olds can be a bit like navigating a stormy sea; it’s a stage filled with change, challenge, and rapid brain development.
Going into camp, I was nervous. Our few pre-camp sessions hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing, and I could tell I’d need to invest energy into building connections. But something magical happened while tramping together—tough terrain, shared challenges, and laughter as we trudged along the track helped break down the barriers.
By midweek, I found myself really enjoying the company of these students. Despite the turbulence of this life stage, they’re also at a point where the world is full of excitement and possibility. What I observed so clearly—and what I continue to witness daily in my role as a dean—is that relationships grow through consistent, genuine effort to see people. When I ask a student how their day is going or take a moment to learn about their interests beyond school, it builds trust. They feel valued. And over time, connection grows.
Why Relationships Matter So Much
The renowned Harvard Study of Adult Development, now running for over 80 years, shows that the greatest predictor of long-term happiness and wellbeing isn’t wealth, success, or fame—it’s meaningful relationships. Connection is what nourishes us, grounds us, and sustains us.
Positive psychology supports this too. At its heart, the goal isn’t just to “get by”—it’s to flourish. According to Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, prosocial behaviours—acts of kindness, connection, and community—are the most effective and lasting ways to enhance wellbeing.
Even evolution backs this up. Our early ancestors faced life-threatening dangers with no modern tools to protect them, yet they survived—because they cooperated. We are wired for connection. Today’s threats may look different, but our need for belonging and acceptance remains as strong as ever.
Why Kindness and Gratitude?
Kindness and gratitude are central pillars in both positive psychology and The Classroom Connections Project. Their power lies in their simplicity and their ability to transform classroom culture.
We begin this module with Gratitude. It acts as a beautiful bridge from an inward focus (self-awareness, self-care) to an outward one. Gratitude helps students recognise the good in their lives and appreciate the people around them.
Research tells us that regularly practising gratitude improves mental health, boosts happiness, and strengthens relationships. It helps children savour positive experiences and navigate tough times more effectively.
While students may initially focus on material things (like a favourite toy or new shoes), this module gently guides them to notice life’s often-overlooked gifts—like the ability to hear music, run in the playground, or feel safe at home. We must, of course, be sensitive to each child’s circumstances, but in my experience, every child can find something to be grateful for.
Some classroom activities from the manual include:
A class gratitude jar
Creating a gratitude tree
Becoming a “positivity detective”
These practices help gratitude become a habit—something students start to look for and feel daily.
Next, we move into the transformative world of Kindness.
Kindness is doing something for someone else’s benefit. It might take effort, but it should never come at a cost to our own wellbeing. When it’s genuine, it uplifts both the giver and the receiver.
Research shows kindness lowers stress, enhances self-esteem, and builds community. From a physiological perspective, it boosts serotonin and oxytocin—chemicals that support heart health, reduce anxiety, and improve mood. Amazingly, adults who regularly volunteer increase their lifespan by up to 44%!
In The Classroom Connections Project, we explicitly teach students how to practise kindness through:
Random acts of kindness
Kindness zone posters
Circle time discussions
The Japanese reflection practice of Naikan
What’s more, kindness helps students see themselves as part of something bigger. While each child is unique, they are also part of a much larger story—one of human connection, interdependence, and collective wellbeing.
As we embark on our holiday break, I hope you get the chance to be with those who fill your cup. May your time be restful, nourishing, and full of meaningful connection.
If you're curious to learn more about how The Classroom Connections Project can support your students, I’d love to invite you to one of my upcoming webinars. They’re short, practical, and designed to give you ideas you can use straight away in Term Two.
Wishing you a joyful Easter and a well-deserved rest.
Take care,
Natalie
