Building Bridges: Teaching Students the Importance of Valuing Others
The Power of Connections
I’ve often discussed the importance of relationships, but following our recent focus on celebrating self, it’s time to explore how a deeper understanding of oneself can lead to happier and more positive relationships with others.
Consider the analogy of putting on your own oxygen mask first. When we have a strong sense of self, self-esteem, and self-confidence, we are better equipped to extend these positive feelings to those around us.
This principle guided the structure of The Classroom Connections Project. While individual educators know their students best, I believe it's crucial to first help students build a positive self-image. Only then can they offer the best of themselves in their relationships with others.
“The Good Life” by Drs. Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz draws lessons from the world’s longest study on happiness—the Harvard Study. With over 80 years of research and thousands of interviews, the Harvard Study reveals that those who are happiest and most content are the ones with the most meaningful human connections. It argues that relationships are the building blocks of well-being.
As teachers, we understand the importance of relationships. We typically start each year with activities designed to build connections, making a concerted effort to know our students individually. Research consistently shows that students perform better in environments where they feel liked and cared for by their teachers.
This week, I’d like to delve into the importance of teaching students how to create positive relationships with others.
Expressing Care and Kindness
There are countless ways to show others that we care about them—listening, supporting, being honest, showing appreciation, being open-minded, making time, being loyal, and investing in friendships. As adults, we've learned these skills to varying degrees, but our youth need explicit guidance to create and sustain positive relationships.
At the core of these actions is respect for others. We may not agree with everyone on everything, but showing respect for others' values, demonstrating empathy, and actively enhancing important relationships are key. This brings us to the concept of boundaries—respecting others' decisions while maintaining our own and staying true to our beliefs.
As adults, we understand that not everyone will be our best friend or even "our cup of tea." However, it costs us nothing to treat everyone with the respect we expect in return. I believe this is a fundamental issue in society today. We often lack the ability to accept differing beliefs and want others to agree with us because we believe we are "right." This mindset contributes to much of the unrest in the world today. I strongly believe that if our youth gained a better understanding and respect for diverse perspectives, we could create a more tolerant and understanding world.
Putting It into Practice
In the classroom, the most influential factor is always the teacher and what they are modeling. Students are incredibly perceptive, and while we might think we’re masking a bad day or hiding our upset feelings, they can sense when something is off. They pick up on our energy and know when we’re not being entirely honest. This doesn’t mean we can't feel upset or angry; it just suggests that we can be open and honest with our class about our emotions. I've often shared with my class about events that ruffled me before school or explained why I might feel sad, happy, or excited on a particular day. I might even admit to acting in a way I’m not proud of. This transparency reinforces to students that these unsettling feelings are real and valid. Acknowledging them helps us move forward, teaching students to name their emotions and choose how to proceed.
This principle also applies to our tolerance and understanding towards others. When we stand with our students and genuinely demonstrate tolerance and understanding, they learn to do the same. By explicitly addressing any underlying prejudices or disparities, we bring them into the light where they can be dealt with constructively. These issues often stem from misunderstandings or miseducation.
Activities focused on gratitude and kindness are excellent starting points. They equip students with the skills needed to foster positive relationships and build tolerance and understanding for those who may not be their "cup of tea."
Expressing gratitude benefits both the giver and the receiver. Research indicates that maintaining an 'attitude of gratitude' significantly enhances mental health and ranks among the top three emotions contributing to life satisfaction. Gratitude involves recognizing and appreciating the positive aspects of life and acknowledging others for their contributions. Studies in positive psychology have shown that gratitude improves happiness, positive emotions, and the ability to enjoy good experiences, handle difficult times, and build strong relationships. While children may initially focus on material possessions, the aim here is to help them appreciate the less obvious blessings, such as their senses, basic needs being met, and a safe, comfortable environment. Sensitivity to each child's circumstances is crucial, but there's always something to be grateful for.
Kindness is about doing something for someone else's benefit by considering what others would enjoy, like, or need and putting effort into providing it. While it can be at our own expense, it should never be detrimental to ourselves. Kindness should feel good for both the giver and the receiver. Research suggests that kindness lowers stress levels and improves overall well-being, enhancing our sense of belonging and community, which in turn boosts self-esteem.
Despite our different life experiences, appearances, and preferences, we are fundamentally the same. Genetically, there is little difference between humans, regardless of origin. The choices we make daily impact our species as a whole, highlighting the interconnectedness that binds us. It is crucial for children to recognize their unique and special individuality while understanding they are part of a larger group of humans, intrinsically linked. Scientifically, kindness releases serotonin, the feel-good hormone, making us happier and healthier while lowering anxiety levels. It also produces oxytocin, which can reduce blood pressure and improve heart health. Adults who volunteer regularly have a 44% higher chance of living longer. Teaching techniques to increase positive emotions daily has been proven to improve social connections, physical health, mental health, and overall ability to flourish.
Some fun ways to bring gratitude and kindness into the classroom once you have spent time explicitly discussing these topics and what they mean, include:
Gratitude Treasure Hunt - start by discussing what the students are currently grateful for. Explain the activity and model possible answers. Depending on the students' age, they can complete the hunt individually, in pairs, or in small groups. (There is a free downloadable of this in the resources section of my website)
Gratitude Diary - Ask children to write down five things they are grateful for each day for one week (more if possible). They may share these with a buddy or the class if they wish.
Random acts of kindness week - Ask the children to share their ideas about kindness and discuss examples from various settings like the playground, classroom, home, and sports field. Explain that while kindness benefits the receiver, it also greatly benefits the giver. Introduce the concept of random acts of kindness, emphasising anonymity and the intrinsic value of doing good. Have each child draw a classmate's name from a hat and perform an anonymous act of kindness for them daily.
Kindness Zone Posters - Create posters stating 'This Is A Kindness Zone' to put up around the school. These could be digital or handmade. Older children could include research/reasons why kindness is essential and the benefits of service.
Kindness Cards - Create a set of kindness cards with examples of random acts of kindness on them. Visit another class in the school and share your cards with them. Gift these to the class at the end of your visit.
This is just the beginning; there are countless ways we can foster a sense of gratitude and kindness within our classrooms. For more ideas, be sure to check out "Six Simple Ways to Well-being," available for free in the resources section of my website. Additionally, you can order your copy of The Classroom Connections Project, which offers a wide array of ideas based on Positive Psychology and Conscious Education. These tools and techniques are designed to help you create a nurturing and inspiring classroom environment. Let's work together to make a real difference in the lives of our students.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post today and I wish you an inspiring week ahead.
Ka kite ano
Natalie
